Many years ago I began a tradition that has been one of my favorite things to do in the new year. Each year I choose a word that I weave into my daily life and goals. Resolutions are not something that have ever worked for me. Last year I shared my struggle with how I’d love to follow through with a New Year’s goal, but I typically fail miserably. This year is no different. For several weeks I have been pondering what word I am going to choose for 2019. It seems that when I put this out into the universe something always begins to speak to me.
These past many weeks I spent lots of time with family and friends, as I am sure you did as well, and there are many feelings and thoughts that came to me. Profound gratitude is certainly something that I feel, but gratitude was my word in 2014. I certainly feel blessed and thrilled to have had such a wonderful time celebrating Christmas with all those I love, but this year one word has been whispering to me more than any other. This word is forgiveness.
I have a lot of unresolved issues when it comes to forgiveness. I tend to hold onto things that I shouldn’t for way too long. The problem with this is that it begins to interfere with real happiness. When you don’t forgive others, it can become a dark cloud hanging over you wherever you go. When I have chosen my words in the past, I have focused on them from an outward perspective. For example, how can I forgive others more easily? How can I let go of those grudges when I feel hurt by someone, especially when it’s someone close to me, and they have hurt me more than once? How can I live in a way where I let things go and don’t sweat the small stuff so much? Then I was talking with my dear friend last week and she said something to me that hit me like a ton of bricks. We were causally chatting about nothing in particular, but she was feeling overwhelmed, as was I. There was so much to accomplish before Christmas, and there was so much going on with both of us and our jobs and families. She said “I think in the new year I am going to to forgive myself.” And this solidified my word, the word that had been whispering to me for many weeks, the word that was on the tip of my brain, waiting to be chosen.
She had no idea what my word was going to be, but not only did it solidify my word, she made me think of it in another light. Forgive myself!! Oh my gosh, forgive myself!! We are the end-all be-all for everyone. We are the workers, the cleaners, the cookers, the runners, the washers, the nursemaids, the homework helpers, the teachers, the comforters, and the list goes on. We feel like failures when our children are struggling, or not thriving in the way we think that they should. We have hard weeks at work and feel like we are spread so thin that we are jacks of all trade, but masters of nothing and it’s a pretty terrible place to be. So here it is, forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for messing up. Forgive yourself for not being as thin as your want, or as pretty as you wish you were. I guarantee you’re beautiful inside and out. Forgive yourself for being late, for missing that appointment, for having the laundry pile up, and for the house being a mess. Forgive yourself for not being the superhuman you are striving to be, because NEWSFLASH, no one has it all together. This is an unattainable goal, it’s an illusion. Forgive yourself for anything and everything that you tell yourself you are “supposed” to be, but feel like you aren’t.
What’s your word? What do you hear whispering to you? What do you think you need to do to be a happier version of yourself? In the past years I have chosen words like courage, determination, acceptance, perseverance, kindness, and gratitude. This year I choose forgiveness and I choose ME, and I think that you need to choose you as well.
My hope is that as this new year begins we can all be a little more accepting of our flaws and failures, life is too short, so let it all go. I hope when I check in next year, you are a happier, healthier, and more forgiving version of yourself. I wish you great moments in your life this year, and so much more. Happy New Year! Thanks for continuing to follow me and read my words. I’m so thankful for you! Peace and Cheers!