A Love Letter to Myself…

deb selfie Today I’m sharing one of my favorite Valentine’s Day traditions, but with a twist.  I realize that Valentine’s Day is a “greeting card” holiday and that for some who may be experiencing loneliness, it can be a bit hard.  You see dozens of friends post photographs of flowers, candy,or dinner with their spouse or partner, and that can be hard to watch if you are feeling lonely. 

Before I had children my husband and I were not too big on celebrating.  We were young, broke, and we preferred to just hang out and be together.  But once our children came along, I was so overwhelmed with this new “version” of love that I could hardly contain myself.  I would look at their little faces and my heart felt like it might literally explode.  Although I felt like this everyday, and it wasn’t unique to Valentine’s Day, when February 14th came I decided that I would write each of them a love letter.  My husband and I lived apart for a while in college and we sent each other cards and letters all the time.  They were filled with lots of sappy thoughts, and to this day I still have many of these saved and they are so fun to read.  So I thought, why not do this for my children?  

Each year I buy pretty little blank cards and share with them all of the reasons I adore them.  I talk of their strengths, their inner and outer beauty, the ways they make me laugh, and how special they are to me.  These cards are given with homemade cupcakes, or sour cherry candy and it’s a day to celebrate our love just a little bit more than usual. 

So here’s the twist.  I’ve been struggling a bit lately.  I, once again, am coming up on the anniversary relating to the loss of my mom and as I’ve mentioned before, these prove hard for me.  I start to question myself and I start to have a lot of negative thoughts. For a person that has issues with depression, this can be a HUGE struggle.  So I have decided that this year, in addition to my family, I need to write myself a love letter. 

I need to remind myself about all of the reasons that I am worthy of love.  I need to remind myself that although I struggle, people love me, and I am strong.  My grandmother used to send me and my siblings darling Valentine’s Day cards and she would write simple messages about how much she loved us.  I would read her words and it gave me so much confidence.  So I wonder, why is it so hard to accept love from others? Why is it such a struggle to remember that we are worthy of love? Why can’t I see myself the way that my Grammy and Mom saw me,  and my family sees me? My hope is that by writing myself a letter it can bring me back to a place of positivity.  Maybe it can help me see some of the things those around me see.  Maybe it can help me discover gifts I didn’t know that I had, and I can share these gifts with others.  I hope that by focusing on me I will find more value than I currently see.

I feel blessed beyond measure in my life.  I don’t mean to be dark, but if you’re struggling with love of yourself, or even if you’re not but just need a bit more positivity, write a letter and rediscover all of the gifts you are to those around you.  Remember that you have a genuine purpose, even if that purpose is under murky water.  Loving yourself is sometimes the hardest love to accept.  So while we can still enjoy all of the flowers, candy, and romance, remember that loving yourself allows you to love others more fully!  Peace my friends.  As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts and I picked purple to type with today because I love it.  I guess that’s a start! That’s my dish!!! 

xoxo Deb

 

 

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